Any project is only as good as the team working on it – and that goes double for project managers, which is why experienced PMs spend so much time developing their emotional intelligence (EQ). PM-Partners Senior Consultant and Facilitator Stephen Howard explains what EQ is, why these soft skills are so critical to a project’s success, and how you can develop them.

What is emotional intelligence? 

The term ‘emotional intelligence’ – also known as the emotional quotient (EQ) – was created by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in 1990 as “a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action.” 

This typically starts with self-awareness, but the outcomes of EQ vary depending on the situation. In the context of project management skills, EQ is all about being able to engage effectively, defuse internal (e.g. team members) and external (e.g. stakeholders) conflicts, and overcome challenges. 

As with other managerial positions, the value of robust EQ skills for PMs extends beyond themselves. For example, in highly stressful situations, of which there are many over the lifecycle of a project, a good project manager needs to be able to empathise with others in order to understand their concerns, their stresses and their overall goals. 

In short, EQ is the culmination of many different soft skills required to successfully oversee a task or project. 

Why is emotional intelligence so critical for project management? 

There’s a wealth of research pointing to the relationship between social and emotional abilities and personal success – in fact, one study conducted over a forty-year period found them to be four times more important than IQ in determining professional success and prestige (Feist and Barron, 1996). 

Of course, every project manager wants to succeed, but they also want to ensure they can get the best out of their people. Of all the different careers, as a PM you are going to run into problems on a daily basis. That’s the life of a project manager. 

EQ is about more than just knowing your own emotions and being able to recognise the best way to respond to other people’s emotions. It’s also about having the innate sense to adjust your behaviour and strategy to suit a particular project environment and the vast array of personalities and behaviours involved in that environment. That’s the only way you can get the best out of the relationships of the people around you. 

Without that focus on emotional soft skills, PMs can easily lose control of a project and potentially see small hurdles balloon into damaging problems. And these skills become even more important as you progress  

When you look at the Project Manager Competency Development Framework, every single competency falling into each of the eight core competencies requires a level of EQ to be successful. As the project manager grows in their career into managing larger more complex projects, so is the need for their EQ to grow in depth, breadth and experience. 

Learning how to improve emotional intelligence  

The following 12-point EQ skills list is applicable for all PMs across every industry. It can be a manifesto of sorts to guide you on this journey to developing your EQ capabilities:

1. Listen – don’t just hear what someone is saying, take active steps to address their needs.
   
   
2. Ask the right questions of the right people at the right time. 
   
   
3. Master the art of facilitation.
   
   
4. Lead with influence – be someone who can convince people to follow them over the life of a project.
   
   
5. Be a firm negotiator – the idea that having ‘good people skills’ means you’re always appeasing people is a myth. 
   
   
6. Resolve conflicts.
   
   
7. Accumulate business acumen – never stop learning.
   
   
8. Stay agile with change management.
   
   
9. Build relationships and continue to nurture them.
   
   
10. Understand the context of a project’s environment.
    
    
11. Acknowledge strategic relationships within a project, regardless of your role – for example, some people need more attention while others work best autonomously.
    
    
12. Look after yourself. 

Of course, you may think ‘easier said than done’ when looking at some of these skills. For instance, how do you learn how to convince people to follow you, or bolster your negotiation skills? As a starting point, try putting the following three tips into action: 

• Connect with a mentor, someone who has similar values to you and who you admire in their role as a project manager or other related position. 
• Look for courses covering the above capabilities. There are many excellent courses that provide real hands-on education delivered by highly skilled and experienced facilitators. For example, Advanced Facilitator: Conflict and Collaboration; Building and Leading a Team; Communicating with Impact; Leading Effective Negotiations – the list goes on.
• Read authentic, endorsed publications and books. The enlightenment from this approach is extremely fulfilling and a great learning journey. 

And while it’s listed last, when it comes to skill number 12, it’s important to make looking after yourself a priority. Stress and the ability to manage it is all part and parcel of a project manager’s job. It’s sometimes forgotten or misunderstood, but that’s one skill all PMs need to have – you’ve got to look after yourself or else you’ll be no good to yourself, to your family and to your company, especially within high-pressured project environments. 

Whichever industry you’re operating in, the chances are you’re facing some level of volatility, uncertainty, complexity and/or ambiguity. In this VUCA climate, it’s more crucial than ever to develop and leverage your emotional intelligence – and your soft skills more broadly. It’s only with robust EQ that you can recognise these new challenges and work successfully with other people to overcome them. 

To find out more how you can build your soft skills, from facilitation and leadership to communication and conflict management, contact one of our personal development experts online or call us on 1300 70 13 14 today.